The End of an Era

I am sitting in my classroom on my last Tuesday morning of work at SPH. My homeroom has graduated so I'm enjoying my cup of coffee in quiet. I miss them. The last weeks have been a flurry of activity with farewell lunches and brunches and graduation ceremonies and then the ever exciting Prom. Time is flying by and now that I said goodbye to my favourite group of kids, it's starting to hit me a little more that I really am leaving this place.

Three years has been a long time but it has also gone quickly. As a first teaching assignment, it's been incredible. I've been able to experience so many things and be part of this fantastic SPH family and community. I've made some terrific friends who I know will be part of my life for years to come and developed other relationships that have shaped and changed me. We have gone through some pretty happy times together but also experienced some awful things together as well. Through it all though, I am very grateful for my time here in Indonesia.

It is crazy to think that three years ago, none of this was part of my life and now, here I stand very much a part of life here in Indonesia. While obviously there are aspects of life here that I will not miss, it still has been my life for the past three years, a life I have learned to adjust to and grow comfortable with and finally enjoy and love.

This chapter of my life is coming to an end and the next one is up there ahead. I have no real idea what the next years will hold but I can see God working things out for me and I know that He will be there with me in Germany, guiding and directing my path.

So while most likely this is the last entry I'll write on this blog (although never say never) I have decided to devote a new spin-off one to the next chapter:

in which Jessica goes to Germany

Thanks for checking in here from time to time and an extra big thanks to those of you who wrote comments!

Hope to see some of you this summer.. and if not, we always have the interweb!

Much love,

Jessica

5 Weeks....

I can't believe it.. only 5 weeks left of my Indonesia teaching career! It's pretty crazy to see how quickly life is flying by. My much loved Year 12s have finished classes and are sweating it out with their final exams. We had a final lunch for all the Year 12s and their teachers on their last day of school.. I was a tad emotional but able to say a few words to them in front of everyone. I really do feel that even though God took me away from all my family and friends in Canada.. He gave me 80 or so little brothers and sisters to love and be loved by over here. It isn't goodbye with the kids yet though because we still have tons of their graduation activities coming up once exams are finished. Plus it's nice because a few of them will be studying in Europe and several others will be in Toronto. When your students are loaded-world travelers, there really is no such thing as goodbye!

My A1 girls on the last day of class

Along with saying goodbye to students I have been busy saying goodbye to Indonesia and psyching up for Germany. It's quite a bit of paperwork when one wants to relocate but thanks to "my people" in Canada (aka Dad), I've been able to get quite sorted out. I met with the movers this past Thursday and it's starting to feel more real.

Fortunately as it's feeling more real, I'm getting more excited. I'm not as heartbroken as before that I'm leaving Asia. I'm starting to see that this is a good thing. I'm starting to picture my life in Europe and realizing that while it will present it's own set of challenges, it will be simpler in another way. (think: no more huge lizards, cockroaches, constant food poisoning, insane traffic, volcanoes, earthquakes, terrorist threats, short men, strange odours everywhere, chaos chaos chaos) So I am getting excited about leaving this place and I am looking forward to the next place.

I have also been corresponding with the new school and they do sound like a good bunch of people. I think it will be a great experience and I'm trusting that God will continue to lead and guide me as I pack up life here and begin a new one somewhere else.

Reason #39 why THEY need to graduate now!

Yes.. a random Friday afternoon.. two Grade 12 boys..some Deep Heat Sport Spray and a few matches.. boys will be boys..

Reason #39 why I need to leave this place...soon!

This massive lizard.. a monitor lizard dive bombed into my friend's living room, right through the screen door and then ran and hid under her bed on Friday afternoon.. so scary! Sam had to go after it with a noose like contraption and capture the thing. Look how big it is!

Term 4 Shenanigans

My homeroom was required to submit 20 homeroom photos for the yearbook. We kind of forgot to take lots of pictures throughout the year.. so this is what happened on Friday morning...
These days are pretty stressful as they are gearing up for their hugely important exams...
Just hangin around...
It's a bird, it's a plane.. it's our hopes and dreams!!!


This is me and my trusty teaching buddy Christine.. we've been here the same amount of time and seen each other through some of the total craziness that happens when you spend the day with hormonal teenagers!

The Final Term

Just got back from Spring Break in Bali and it was fantastic as usual. I won't post lots of pictures because.. if you don't know what it looks like.. go to my archives.

Anyway here I am at the final quarter of the school year. Term 4. Only 11 weeks left. 11 weeks! Hard to believe my days in Indonesia are coming to an end. I have a lot to do before I can fully get into "good bye" mode but I can see the end...

What makes this even more exciting is that I have a whole new place to go and a whole new adventure to head out on. Things for Germany are starting to fall into place as well. I have picked out my flat and was able to buy most of the previous owner's stuff (including 3 bookshelves and a bike) for a low low price.. and so things in that regard are working out well! I have found out my new classes and the books I'll be teaching and I am getting quite excited.

That being said, I need to focus on where I am right now and make the most of these last weeks. I want to finish strong.. although it's tricky to pull my head out of those clouds.. but finishing on a good high note will be much better in the long run.

And so here comes Term 4: My Final Days in Indo...

Meme

I got tagged by a dear friend and since I like her so much, I figured I'd give this a try. So what one has to do is:

1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere
4 .Tag five more blogs with links
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

My only real problem here is that I don't think very many people actually read this blog and the people who have blogs who do read it, have already been tagged. So if you want to do it.. do it!

Ok here it goes:

Doesn't need to make sense now.

Overall I think those six words(ok I know doesn't is really two words but I need you to bear with me) have been a constant theme in my life lately. Often I find myself wondering why certain things are happening and I take huge comfort in knowing that it's all part of a bigger picture. I know that while I have no idea why life twists and turns out the way it does, it doesn't matter because some day it will all be clear. I didn't plan on Indonesia but I can see how God used that experience in so many ways. I didn't ever picture Germany as a place I'd live and I really have no idea why I'm being called there but I don't have to know now. And so I do the next thing.. I go through the next door knowing that it's all going to be okay.

The Result!

Today I received word that the Korea door is closed and so I am signing with Germany! I spent the night tossing and turning. I really talked myself into wanting Korea, so much that I woke myself up at 2:30am and then spent the next three hours trying to talk myself into Germany just in case Korea didn't come through. Well it didn't but Germany did. This is actually a good thing. I loved the Principal and I loved what I heard about the school. European teaching experience will look good on a resume and I'll have a whole new perspective of the world. And so I believe that this is where God wants me to be and I will peacefully, faithfully and happily go there!

Dusseldorf.. here I come!


Isn't Dusseldorf the coolest name ever??

The Job Fair Story

I have been somewhat vague about the details of the Job Fair due to the fact that things are still in the works. However, on second thought what is going on in my head/heart right now is worth writing about.

The Job Fair was amazing and I made lots of great contacts, had lots of great interviews and ended up with several job offers. I also have a whole set of stories of really really dumb blonde statements that came out of my mouth in said interviews but that is for another time! Anyway I walked away with several offers and a few other options. The positions were in India, Latvia (it's by Estonia.. along the Baltic Sea.. across from Norway), Korea, Hong Kong and Germany. Basically I had to start ruling positions out and so I immediately took India out of the mix. Then I took out Latvia because .. well.. the school was small and who in the world even knows where Latvia is?!? This left me with Hong Kong, Korea and Germany. I absolutely fell in love with the school in Hong Kong. It seemed the perfect fit. I interviewed well for the position and it seemed that even if I didn't get the position I initially applied for, they were going to create one for me. I have always wanted to live in Hong Kong and so I believed that things were going to work out my way.. for once! Strangely, I also found myself liking the school in Korea.. which I signed up to interview with by total fluke. Then I had this great interview with a school in Germany and so I had my final three. I put them in order of preference which is 1) Hong Kong, 2) Korea and 3) Germany. Korea and Germany are more tied.. both have pros and cons. Hong Kong was the clear winner in my mind. And so I began to picture Jessica in Hong Kong.

Well.. Tuesday morning I get to work and receive word that Hong Kong filled the position with a teacher who has way more experience than I do. I was devastated. I was sort of angry, quite bitter and terribly disappointed. A little heart broken because this was my DREAM school. I really actually wanted it a lot! I began to question God and wonder why He always seems to take away what I want the most? Why can't He just let me get my way for once? It would have been perfect but it was not to be. I can't fight with God. I just have to trust that this is going to work out.

So that leaves me with Korea and Germany. Two choices that I did not intend to pick when I set out on my Fair. The school in Korea is amazing and the financial benefits are incredible. The school in Germany is in Europe.. obviously.. which is awesome. It's a totally different environment and a little less money.

While I was interviewing with Korea, someone from the school was interviewing at another Fair and offered the position to another candidate before it could be offered to me. The principal said that he would give it to me if this other person declines. And so I wait.. I was supposed to know for sure on Sunday night but... its Wednesday night and still no word.

I really can see myself happily working at that school and while Korea isn't my first choice of country to live in.. I think it could be really great.

I also can see myself living in Germany. The Principal at that school is great and I think it would be an excellent career move. Due to the fact that my debt is large.. I'll opt for Korea first but if that doesn't work.. I'll know that God wants me in Germany. It's just taking a while to get me there. I do have the Germany contract on my desk just waiting to be signed.

They are both good options and now I am in a position where I'm waiting for God to essentially make the decision for me.

So there is my story. I was listening to the Sara Groves song: What I Thought I Wanted and it really spoke to me. The following lyrics were especially meaningful:

I passed understanding a long, long time ago
And the simple home of systems and answers we all know
What I thought I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and somehow peaceful

I keep wanting you to be fair
But that’s not what you said
I want certain answers to these prayers
But that’s not what you said

When I get to heaven I’m gonna go find Job
I want to ask a few hard questions, I want to know what he knows
About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
How to be broken and faithful

I’m broken and grateful
I want to be broken and grateful
I want to be broken, peaceful, faithful, grateful, grateful

So I suppose this is what I'm learning. I can be angry at God for never giving me what I want.. but what I think I want isn't necessarily a good thing for me. There is no point in questioning God's will over my desires. Therefore I can be broken, I can be hurt, I can be sad that the Hong Kong thing didn't work out but at the same time I can find peace and remain faithful and grateful to God for taking care of me and showing me a clear path and direction.

I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do.. but I'm going to try to do it. I'll let you know what happens when I know.

London Times!

Just got back from London and am now settling back into my last few months here. The trip was fantastic and beneficial. Here are a few "London Shots" for you to enjoy. And yes.. they all have me in them.. how totally ego-centric can one be??? But hey! It's my blog!
Outside Harrods. Yes I bought something but it was only tea.. talk about an expensive place to shop!
Jamie was the perfect tour guide!
Outside Buckingham Palace... the Queen was in!
By the London Tower
And oh look-- London Bridge.. actually that isn't what that bridge is called at all.
English Countryside Shot
Waiting... waiting is the name of the game for me these days.



London at Night... Big Ben with the London Eye in the background.
London by Midday..

Nothing like a little phone booth fun!

OK so here is another "waiting" shot. I went to the Job Fair and it was great and beneficial. Got quite a few offers but am now waiting to see what happens. It's a big crazy thing and I'll let you know the full details as soon as I sign something. See.. now you can wait too! Isn't waiting fun?

As Rudyard Kipling says: "If you can wait and not grow tired by waiting...."

"School" at the Beach!

Just got back from the Grade 12 Spiritual Retreat in Anyer. It's about two hours away and a beautiful beach! We had a fantastic time together and it was fun yet relaxing. It is designed as a chance to really encourage the kids in their walks with God and to let them relax before the pressures of exams and IB completely take over their lives.
One of the main components, aside from the sessions, is One-on-One conversations. Each student picks one of us teachers to have a conversation with. We ask them about their families, their friends, their dreams, their struggles, their accomplishments, their walks with God, their purposes in life... all sorts of heavy questions. The talks last anywhere from 20 minutes to a couple hours. I had 8 kids to speak with over the course of the time away and it was incredible. It's great to be able to sit under a palm tree and watch the waves and just be able to talk to the kids. Rarely did it feel like pulling teeth to get answers from them. These kids had things to say and wanted to be heard. Some of their stories were heartbreaking. The most heartbreaking things came from the seemingly happy and content kids. Makes me wonder how often I just look at them and see what I want to see and not what's really there. Anyway it was fantastic because I really felt God was leading me in these conversations and giving me the right words to say in response to their questions.

We had a lot of crazy fun as well.. banana boating and boogie boarding in the sea and sand castle competitions on the beach. (sure beats hanging out in a classroom all week!) We also had some insane games.. relays where they had to drink a glass with water and a goldfish.. hold the fish in their mouths.. run across the room and spit the fish into a bucket! It was hilarious! (and I'm so glad that as a teacher all I had to do was cheer!) They also did bobbing for pears... in a big bucket. Pears because pears sink as opposed to apples. The only real trick being that into the bucket of pears they dumped a whole pail of EELS! Yes.. live eels! So as the pears sank.. the eels swam up.. it was so nasty but these kids are nuts and just went for those pears!

So it was fun... I loved doing the camp counselor thing with the kids, I loved seeing them having fun and I have a whole new list of things to pray about. Please keep them in your prayers that the spiritual high they are on right now will continue and that God will draw them closer to Himself.

Now that the Retreat is done.. next stop: London!

Uncertainty...

My Job Fair in London is quickly approaching and I am filled with all kinds of anxious excitement. In my head I've compiled a list of places I'm dying to go should I be offered a position and lately I have had a certain place in mind per day. It's kind of fun to try on new ideas, to picture Jessica living in Zambia or Angola or Moscow or Shanghai or Hong Kong or Dubai or Prague or London England or.... London, Ontario. At the same time it can be quite overwhelming. I find myself completely torn between excitement and outright fear of making the wrong choice, or fear of failure in that I come away with zero job offers. There is a fine balance between confidence and realism (pessimism). However I am becoming increasingly aware of my need to fully give this whole experience over to God. I need to be able to think clearly and hear His voice. I know that I won't end up somewhere by accident and I know that He will guide and prepare me for whatever lies ahead, as He did for my Indonesia Adventure. I am a tad worried because the same way I would have never predicted Indonesia for myself, I worry that some crazy new place will jump out at me and suddenly it will be me in a burqa in a middle eastern compound. (I'm kidding... I think) Anyway I know that He is good and I can trust Him in all of this. What a good good thing to know!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year Everyone! Another Christmas has come and gone and I'm back in Indonesia for my last stint. I can't believe how quickly this year is going. I had a fantastic time being home in Canada this past holiday. It was awesome to hang out with friends and spend lots of quality time with my family. I must say I'm sorry to those friends of mine who I missed being able to see (Barb!) but I promise to make it up to you in the summer!

The whole airport thing tends to produce tears in me every time. Whether I'm coming or I'm going.. something about an airport makes me bawl like a baby. Of course there were tears this last time.. as always but it wasn't so bad. I only have 6 months left and having such a short amount of time to get through, with so much to do in the meantime, is a manageable thing to process.

As for what is next, I have no idea except that I'm trusting God to make that clear for me in February. I'll be attending a Job Fair in London England where a whole bunch of International schools will be set up to interview crazy teachers like me for positions in their schools. My top choices of places I'd like to go changes everyday but I'm thinking somewhere definitely closer to home, although really, I can't get much further away. (It's not intentional!)

So this year of 2008 will be a big one, filled with many exciting, new changes and opportunities. There is a new "shire" to leave and a new adventure to begin and I'm psyched!

Deeper Christmas SOS 2007

One of the student committees at school is called Deeper. They are in charge of spiritual growth etc of the student body. A few times a year they hold amazing Deeper Concerts and last night was the Christmas one. SOS: Save Our Souls! It was an amazing evening of worship . I find that pre-Christmas worship services can be extremely powerful and last night was no exception. I didn't take these photos.. my genius student did but this is a bit of what happened last night.
This is Karina, a Grade 11 student. She's one of the lead vocalists for the Deeper band . Very beautiful girl!
The guy in the red shirt is Ray- Karina's older brother. He had lost his voice yesterday morning but God fixed it and he was phenomenal! This brother-sister duo are incredible!
Narendra and the band... you have to hear these guys play! All of them wildly talented!At the end we did the candle thing and sang an Oldy but a Goody: We are the Reason

Melissa, Me & Samuel.. trying not to drip wax all over the place!
My beautiful student Elise. She'll be heading back to Australia for good next week. I'm going to miss that girl a lot.
Some of the Grade 12s... They were and continue to be my reason for being here!
Sally, Melissa, Me and Becky... At the end of the night... big group pose! Grade 12 students and teachers and a few extras!

That time of year again...

I can't believe this is my third birthday I have celebrated in Indonesia! The last two and a half years have flown by and here we are nearly at Christmas holidays. In the pic I'm surrounded by my Grade 12 A1HL class. This is definitely one of my favourite groups of kids and they threw me a "cake party" on Friday. Sweet kids!

This past term has been quite the whirlwind of activity. Lots of school events, lots of exams to prepare kids for and now piles of them to mark - exams not kids. The school days have flown by and the weekends have been packed with fun activities (generally activities that aid in the procrastination of said marking).

My Grade 12s are fairly nostalgic about everything they go through this year. It is so often said: "Guys, this is our last Friday in November that we'll be in high school" or "Hey Everyone, this is our last high school field trip or soccer day". Their nostalgia is paired with my own, realizing that this group of students that I have grown rather attached to will be graduating in June and then off they go into this big crazy world to make something of themselves. So we're a sentimental group, we are.

That being said, I am extremely excited about being back in Canada for Christmas! I just can't handle this December heat anymore when trying to get in the Christmas mood. The weather outside is frightful for completely different reasons!

Anyway I'll be flying into Toronto December 15th and living large until January 4th! Hope to see you then!

October Break 2007

Kintamani

Back to Bali..

By Kintamani.. the volcano..


Kintamani in all her glory! (are volcanoes female??)

Rain on the River

We went through really small caves... had to duck low!
It was dark in there!
Then it rained.. and it rained.. and it rained.. and it rained...
and we were soaked!